How is this year over? I'm fairly certain it just started. I welcomed New Years 2009 in this brown Banana Republic dress at Little Rock's Ferneau Restaurant, where a bar patron can savor the best basil martini of their life. The tennis shoes did not go with me to dinner, but now I like them in this photo as proof that I actually used to exercise. Ferneau was appropriately followed by a trip to the dive bar of all dive bars, Midtown, (how I miss thee - I'm yet to find a comparable Austin substitute).
To summarize 2009 briefly: I frequented many a Cool Shoes dance party, started the Cabot High School slam poetry team, decided to leave teaching, decided to leave Little Rock, started and ended a relationship with Michael for the third time, lived in three different houses, remembered I have hobbies other than cuba libres, waitressed, learned I will never miss Mom any less, sang with a band, adopted a terrible sleep schedule, got braver, realized I actually hate PBR, ended up in a place I am happy to be.
This holiday, I would like to make a map for the future, rather than resolutions, so that I have a few ending points I can meander towards. Having mile markers will help make sure I get where I'd like to be.
For example, I want to write more in 2010. To insure this happens, I will post regularly on my blog, devote time to fiction writing, and seek out opportunities such as guest blogging and article posting.
I also want to be a calmer, less reactive person. To insure this happens, I will focus on detaching from stressful moments, walk away from tense situations until I am calmer, and use kind words towards people - boyfriends, roommates, students, etc, in order to project positive energy onto a situation.
At least, I will try to abide by these things. I often feel wound so tight that I am sure I put off the same welcoming atmosphere as an approaching storm cell. A book I am reading says that everyone manipulates their surroundings, and no act goes into the world without affecting it. A person can't say "I hate something" without the negative energy beyond those words going out into the world, in some sort of cosmic cause and effect.
And not to start the year out on the wrong foot, but 2009, for all of it's surprises and lead-up to my life in Austin, also had a lot of heart ache, not as much as 2004, but no ten year relationship/friendship is damaged and changed without significant emotional repercussions. For that, here's my message to you, 2009, (and tell 2010 that I'm an excellent tiger tamer, and that I'm not afraid of sharp teeth or a loud roar - IE, bring it):
What are your New Years plans? Parties? Resolutions? Hibernation?